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Girl Talk
Chelsea,
Hey chick! Remember that movie that we watched in class today?
Well I think that I need to use my "Yellow Ribbon Card"
I mean, now that I think about it I am having the same feelings
as those kids are. I always want to be alone, I have mood swings,
and I've thought of suicide before. I mean when I was in 7th
grade I tried to kill myself but that was more for the attention,
but now it's embarrassing! The thing that scares me the most
is that I think that you are the only person I'm gonna tell.
I don't want to tell anyone else. Please don't tell anyone. Please!
Well babe it's almost time for the bell to ring so I have to
go. I luv you!
Luv always,
Angel
"What's that?" asked Dan
"What?" I said as I tucked the letter away.
"That note" he said, with a funny look on his face.
"Oh that. Um...it's a note from a friend." I said nervously.
"Oh okay. Here comes the bus." He said with a touch
of laughter in his voice.
Later at home I took the note out again.
I read it over and over several times. "What am I going
to do about this" I thought out loud. "Should I tell
someone? Should I make her go to counselor? Should I tell my
mom? Should I talk to her dad? She I tell her sister?"
As these thoughts ran through my head I heard the phone ring.
A few minutes later my mom came in.
"Chelsea, it's for you, it's Angel." She handed me
the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, do you want to do something today?" She said
as if there was nothing wrong.
"Umm....like what?"
"I don't know. Maybe go to Freddy's or something. I need
some new cloths and I want to pick up a CD."
"Well I don't know if my mom will let me. But I will ask
her. Hold on." I said, wanting to spend as much time as
possible with her. "Hey mom!" I yelled from my room.
"Don't yell for me. Come here" She said "Is it
okay if I go to Freddy's with Angel?"
"Yes as long as you are back by 5:00 okay?"
"All right. Thank you. Angel?"
"Yeah?"
"Meet me at the bus stop in 10 minutes okay?"
"All right. See you then. I love you."
"I love you too. Bye." I said hanging up the phone
and rushing to the bathroom to run a brush through my hair.
I waited at the bus stop for 5 minutes
before Angel showed up.
"Hey sorry I'm late." She said apologetically.
"Don't be sorry you were late meeting me. Be thankful you
didn't miss the bus." I said with a smile across my face.
"I know I know." She said.
"Now is as good as time as any." I told myself. "Hey,
I read your note." I said hesitantly.
"I expected that you would. That's why I gave it to you."
She said with little worry in her voice.
"Well...what do you want me to do?" I asked, willing
to help her with anything that she wanted.
"There really isn't much you can do." She said carelessly.
"I think there's something that I can do. Otherwise why
would you have come to me?" I asked getting angry.
"I told you because I felt like I needed to tell someone."
She said surprised.
"Well if you thought that you had to tell someone then obviously
you're asking for help." I said trying to stay calm.
"I don't want any help okay." She said with tint of
anger in her voice.
"Well then you've come to the wrong person. I'm gonna get
you help with you or without you. I love you way too much to
not help you. I'm not going to just sit back and watch you kill
yourself. That's not like me at all!" I said on the verge
of crying.
"What ever. You know what, I don't want to even go with
you anywhere right now. Why don't you just go home?" She
exploded.
"Fine I will, but this doesn't mean that I'm not going to
get you help I hope you know." I yelled and cried at the
same time.
When I got home my mom asked,
"Why didn't you go to Freddy's?"
"We decided that we would go some other time." I lied.
"Oh then you can help me with lunch." She said happily.
"All right" I said wanting to do anything that would
take my mind off of the scene that just took place.
In school on Monday I went to the counselors
office and made an appointment to see the counselor. 1:00 was
when I was scheduled to come in. At 12:59 I left my class room
and went to the counselors office. Kris welcomed me with a smile.
Showed me to her room and gave me a seat.
"So Chelsea, what can I help you with?" She said all
ears.
"Well I have this friend and she told me a while ago that
she is depressed. Do you remember when you came into our health
class and showed us that movie on depressed kids and gave us
those 'Yellow Ribbon Cards'?" I continued with out waiting
for her to answer. "Well she came up to me that day and
said "I think that I need to use my "Yellow Ribbon
Card". I told her that if she didn't come to you within
the next few days then I would go to you myself." Taking
a breath, holding back the tears, I began again. "She is
really worrying me. I know that she needs help. She keeps refusing
any help that I try to give her. She says that she's embarrassed
about being depressed. I told her that there are many people
in this world that are depressed, why do you think that there
are all of these commercials and advertisements about depression.
You're not the only person that's depressed. But still she won't
come and get help. It makes me sad. Really sad. I came to you
to ask what there is that I can do to help her."
"Well you can start by telling me her name." She said
trying to help.
"No, I can't tell you her name. She asked me not to and
I don't want to make her mad." I told her trying not to
sound rude.
"I understand completely. But I think that she needs some
professional help. There really isn't anything that you or I
could do to help her. There are people that are trained to help
a depressed person."
"I know, we'll just have to take it one step at a time.
I don't want to invade her privacy but I also don't want to sit
back and watch her do something stupid. Do you know what I mean?"
"Yes. But I'm worried about you. How are you doing? Are
you able to sleep at night? I don't want this to all come down
on you. If you can help her than you should but if you can't
then that's not your fault. You need to understand that."
"I do understand that. But I am going to help her in every
way that I can. Until there is absolutely no other way that I
can help her. I'm going to give my all." I said determined.
"That's good. You need to be there for her. Obviously she
is crying out for help. When you feel ready you can always come
back and tell me her name okay. In the mean time here is a pamphlet
that would be good if you looked over."
"Thank you, I really appreciate everything. I will keep
you updated okay."
"That would be great. Stay strong, don't let her bring you
down with her okay."
"You don't have to worry about that." I said confidently.
I came out of the office and Angel was standing there. "What
were you doing in there? Were you doing what I thought you were?"
She asked accusingly.
"Yes I was." I said, seeing the hurt in her eyes I
added, "Don't worry, I didn't tell them your name. I just
said that I had a friend. She asked me to, but I didn't. I told
you you could trust me."
"I knew that I could I just let it get the best of me. I
love you and I appreciate what you are trying to do for me but
I really don't think that it's necessary okay."
"I know you don't but I do. You are way too important to
me for me not to do anything. You know Angel, one of these days
I am going to have to do something that you don't like."
"What might that be?" She said, now a little angry.
"I will have to tell someone your name, that is if you don't
come with me to a counselor or call one of those crisis lines."
"You keep telling me the same things over and over. I know
that you're going to do that, and if you do I'll be really mad
at you."
"I figured you would but it is better
to have a friend be mad at you then not have a friend at at all.
I wish that you could see where I am coming from."
"I know how you are feeling. I know
that it's hard for you. But it's hard for me too. You need to
understand that. I will get the help that I need when I feel
it is necessary."
"When you feel that it's necessary it might be too late.
I feel that the sooner the better. I know that you think that
you can control your body or control your mind but sometimes
there are things that you can't control. I want to get you help.
I will find some numbers that we can call okay? Come to think
of it Kris gave me a pamphlet on depression. I think that you
should read it. Here ya go."
Handing the pamphlet to her I walked away.
In P.E. the next day Angel handed me the
pamphlet. I looked at it and she had checked off some of the
symptoms that she was having. I took the pamphlet and gave it
to Kris so that she could tell me what to do.
"Now that I see this I really think that you should go to
someone in her family or someone that you can talk to. Maybe
your mom, her dad or her sister. But you really need to tell
somebody."
"I know I know but I really don't want to betray her trust
in me. I love her so much and I worry about her so much."
I started crying. "I'm sorry, you'll just have to excuse
me."
I left and went to the bathroom. I cried
for a while, then I sat there and thought about what I should
to. I concluded that I should wait a little longer, kind of feel
things out. So that is exactly what I did. I waited and waited.
A few days latter I got a phone call.
"Chelsea?" It was Angel's voice.
"Yes?" I said worried.
"I haven't talked to you for a long time. Just wanted to
see how you were."
"I am fine. How are you?"
"I'm good. Hey I wrote a few poems and I wanted to read
them to you." She read me a couple poems then she read me
one about suicide. I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I burst
out crying. She said, "Chelsea, what's wrong."
I couldn't stop, not even to answer her.
"Aww, Chelsea, please don't cry. Honey. Don't cry. Would
you like to talk to my sister?" She said sympathetically.
I finally managed to choke out one word. "Yes"
A few minutes later I heard D's voice. "Hello?"
By that time I was balling. I was unable to say a word.
"Honey, what's wrong?" She had some sympathy in her
voice.
I managed to swallow my tears long enough to say, "I want
to read you something."
She said, "Okay, what is it?"
"Hang on a second, I need to get it. Okay." I read
her the letter that Angel had written me.
"Can you hang on?" she asked after a long pause.
"Yes" I started crying again. I could hear D crying
too.
After a few minutes she said, "Well I am going to go and
talk to Angel now okay."
"Okay." I hung up the phone. Still crying I went to
my room and layed there for a while. Then I heard the phone ring.
I jumped up and ran and got it.
"Hello?"
"Chelsea?"
"Yes?"
"Is it okay if I come over?"
"Yes."
Hanging up the phone once again I went to the bathroom and put
cold water on my face. I waited for a few minutes and then I
heard a knock on the door. I answered it. There standing was
D and Angel.
Angel opened her arms to me, I wrapped my arms around her and
once again I started crying. We stood there, wrapped up in each
other and cried. Then I felt the light touch of D. She was crying
too. Finally after everyone stopped crying I asked Angel to come
inside. We went in my room and talked for a while. We didn't
really get anywhere though.
"Angel? Would you like to stay the night." I asked
hoping she would say yes.
"Well I am grounded cause of my grades, so I don't know
if my dad would let me."
"Well, can't you ask your sister?" I said with wishful
thinking.
"I guess we could."
We went outside to her sisters car. "D? would it be okay
if Angel stayed the night?"
"Well what would dad say?"
"Will you tell him that Chelsea needed me to stay here for
her cause she's having a hard time?"
"I guess so. I will pick you up on my way to work, okay?"
"Thank you." Angel said very smiley.
"So now what are we going to do?" I asked.
"Lets go in the room and talk for a while okay."
"All right."
We stayed up until 3:30 in the morning just being girls. We talked
about a lot of things. Boys, school, boys, depression, boys,
cars, boys, parents, boys, work, boys. Then we passed out, very
tired.
We slept until 11:00 the next day. She stayed the rest of the
weekend with me. We had fun. We went to the movies on Friday
night, with our friend Jessica. After the movie my mom took us
to a restaurant.
As soon as we walked in we saw the most beautiful guy we had
ever seen in our life. Angel was mesmerized. She just sat there
and stared at him for the longest time. Just as I was about to
go and get a pen to get his number for Angel, I turned around
and I saw that my mom was talking to him. We all walked over
there. We saw that my mom was getting his number. I was shocked!
We were walking out of the restaurant and my mom handed me the
number and said good luck.
When we got home we all wanted to call him. So my mom suggested
that we have a drawing with toothpicks. Who ever got the longest
got to call him. Sure enough, Angel did.
To make it look like she wasn't too eager, she called him the
next day instead of that night. They hit it off real well. Now,
a few weeks later they have already gone out on one date and
they talk on the phone every night. It's great.
She really doesn't seem to be too sad anymore, but I know that
she is still depressed. She still needs help and the issue keeps
coming up but she keeps refusing help. I will still try to do
my best.
She is such a great person and I know that I couldn't stand living
with out her. I love her so much. We are still working on her
issue. Things haven't really looked up any, but I will keep at
it. When I have more to tell you I will definitely write. Until
then I hope to hear from some of you girls out there. :)
Chelsea, age 15
Comments to Chelsea
Angel's
response
Chelsea, Hey girl. I had some sort of problem
with my friend as you have with your friend. I had made a promise
that I wouldn't tell anyone about my best friend who was bulimic.
I waited after the weekend and she told me it was getting worse.
I wanted to help her but I made a promise that I would keep quiet!
Finally after the weekend got over on a Monday after all my sports.
I went to our school health teacher! She told me to go to her
mom. I was afraid to because I thought she would hate me forever!
So I stopped crying and told her. I didn't talk to my friend
for 3 days until she came up to me with a big smile on her face
and said " thanks you so much, and I love you" It was
really weird. She was happy for me telling even though I promised
I wouldn't. She got help and now she is back to her normal self.
So no matter what other people think about you and if they can't
trust you for what you did. I think you did right because you
saved a friendship and you saved someone you really truthfully
love. I mean that's a true friend. If I could of
given you a big hug for what you did I would because you did
something really
great! Your a hero!
Did you know that you are the first reply
that I have gotten for that story?! I really appreciate you saying
that. It made me cry. Angel and I aren't friends anymore...despite
everything. But that's okay because she is doing better now.
She is taking anti-depressant pills and is happy all the time.
I still care about her but life goes on.
That was a special thing that you did for
your friend. You're a hero as well.
Chelsea
Chealsea,
You know what... your friend angel is mad
at you right now. She will get over it and you guys will be best
friends again. I know that it is hard for you to lose her, but
it is better that you lost her in a different way then her being
gone from your life forever. I know your upset about it, I was
too. Just hang in there, things will get better after she has
thought about it. After she realizes how much you care for her
and how much you love her. You saved her from doing the unthinkable.
That is a hard thing for someone to do for her best friend.
Have you ever tried talking to her about
it? Well, if I were you, I would go to her house, or call her
on the phone, write a letter or e-mail. Tell her why you did
it. Ask her when she is going to forgive you. You might have
to go through it a few times until she realizes she is wrong
for being mad at you. Cause I know that if you told someone that
I was going to do anything that would hurt me, I would be so
happy that you told someone. But at the same time I would be
mad. But hey, I would get over it in like a day or so. So I want
you to hang in there and I'm here for you if you want to write
me you can. If you have any questions you can ask. Good luck
with Angel. Just try your best to talk to her, even if you cry,
oh well!!!
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